Nothin' ta see here . . .

Sorry, folks, but I'ma hafta postpone the big one again. I was busy all day, and tonight had to help Sam finish a project. I promise I have it for you tomorrow. I'm also working on that endless goddamn survey. Curse you, Merrilee for starting this! Curse you! Wait! I just realized something! I do it in pieces! Tonight, the first 4 pieces, and I'll post the others later. I'm a fucking genius! Here it is: Survey, Part I:

You:

What is your full name:: Richard Joseph Sugrue II Esq.
Spell your first name backwards:: Drahcir. That is so cool. I sound like an Arabian vampire. I pronounce it, Draw-sear. So cool.
Date of birth:: The nineteenth of February, year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred eighty six
Male or female:: male
Astrological sign:: Pisces, or tiger.
Nicknames:: Rich, Richie, Richie Rich, RJ, Rajingo, Fro-boy, Afro Thunder, Hotstuff
Occupation:: subversive comedian rebel poet, stalwart compatriot, laborer, crusader against intolerance and cruelty.
. Height:: 5'7"
Weight:: 170lbs of funny muscle, babe.
Hair color:: golden brown/sandy blonde
Eye color::golden brown/yellow
Where were you born:: Aurora, Colorado, which means I can’t be president. But president of what? I was born in a thunder storm, and the wild gales sang my coming!
Where do you reside now:: South Hadley, Massachusetts
Age:: 18 years old. Though I have always been and will always be, a force for humorous justice in the world. I will be known by many names, be seen in many lands, but I will remain.
Screen names:: MischiefAvatar2
E-mail addy:: Mischiefavatar2@aol.com
What does your screen name stand for:: Good question. An avatar comes from Hindu mythology. It is an incarnation of a divine force. It came to mean an embodiment or epitome of anything. I am an avatar, a force come to life. What force? The force of Mischief! This year, I proved myself worthy of this screen name! (The “2" because I’m technically a sequel. And this time, it’s personal!
What is your greatest journal name:: This term is unfamiliar to me.
Pets:: One awesome (seriously) beagle/shepherd (or beppered) named Penny.
Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake:: I actually stopped celebrating my birthday when I was 12.
Piercings:: None that I know of. .
Tattoo's:: None so far, but I plan to get one this summer.
Shoe size::nine and one half
Righty or lefty:: Fear me, baby, ‘cause I’m sinister!
Wearing:: Now, an old, tight fitting Gap jersey *flexes*, jean shorts, grey briefs, an’ that’s it!
Hearing::The Quick Fix
Feeling:: Exited, happy, funny
Eating/drinking:: I could be really profane and offensive here, but I won’t. I’m above that.

Guys/Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff:

Have you ever been in love:: I have loved and lost many a time. *tear*
How many people have you said: I’ve never meant it to a girlfriend, but I say it to relatives and friends and mean it.
How many people have you been in REAL love with:: I think 3.
How many people have you kissed:: Girls in a romantic way? 3. Other than that, a lot.
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex:: Not in a romantic way . . . yet.
How many people have you dated:: Dos mujeres.
What do you look for in a guy/girl:: See “My Perfect Woman” “My Many Crushes” or “My Many Fetishes.”
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex:: I’ll say appearance.
What type of guy/girl do you usually go for:: See “My Perfect Woman.”
Do you have a crush right now:: See “My Many Crushes,” you dumb prick.
If so who is it::See above question you goddamned fucking moron!
Do you believe in love at first sight:: Not love . . . crush or lust, maybe.
Do you remember your first love:: Sadly yes.
Who is the first person you kissed:: Nicole Dennet, I was 7. That’s if you mean girl in a romantic manner, you non-specific douche bag!
Do you believe in fate:: And free choice. Wiggy, huh?
Do you believe in soul mates:: Why the fuck not?
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours:: God I hope so . . . I think I may already have.

Family Stuff:

How many siblings do you have:: I have one younger brother.
What are your siblings names:: Samuel Carroll Sugrue
What are your parents names:: Todd Carroll and Debra Ann Knightly
How many siblings does your mother have:: five o’ the bastards!
How many siblings does your father have:: four o’ the fiends!
Where are your parents from:: South Hadley . . . maybe Pluto.
Is your family close:: A little. Depends. There are a lot of intertwined relationships.
Does your family get together for holidays:: Kwanza and the Anniversary of The Hindenberg. Actually, yes. For almost all of ‘em.
Do you have a drunk uncle:: No. Many of my relatives drink, but they’re not alcoholics.
Any medical problems run through your family:: Poor eyesight, cancer, heart disease from me dad’s side. Allergies galore an’ a lil’ more cancer from me mum’s.
Does someone in your family wear a toupee:: I wear wigs when I cross dress.
Do you have any nieces or nephews:: Not yet. Although Sam is quite popular with the ladies . . .
Are your parents divorced::Hells yeah!
Do you have step parents:: None.
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family:: Never! We don’t hold with that kind of crap.
Did some of your family come to America from another country:: My great-grand parents came here from England and Ireland. To open Speak-easies!


Music Stuff:

What song do you swear was written about you or your life:: There are a lot.
What's the most embarrassing cd you own:: Today’s Music Hits, Volume 2. Oh yeah, baby!.
What's the best cd you own:: I can’t decide, I can’t decide, Brain Aniorism!
What song do you absolutely hate:: I hate singers and performers themselves more than I hate songs, but there are a lot of songs I hate.
Do you sing in the shower:: You know it! I love to sing in the shower.
What song reminds you of that special someone:: Another Lover

In other news, my brother has screwed up his blog, and will now be using mine. I think it will be a fun change of pace. This segment will appear weekly, in place of, or following you normally scheduled Rich.

Operation Ask Evelyn Out is a go for Wednesday. More details to come. Speaking of Evelyn, thought I'd add another thing I like about her. Sometimes, when she gets really tired, she asks kinda drunk. It's fun. Do I seem obsessive? Maybe. I know for sure I'll look stupid when she turns me down. Oh well, I'm past caring.

I tried studying today and realized there might actually be something to it. Go figure.

And now, without further ado,

Rich's Joke Corner:

Hilary Clinton visited her doctor for an annual physical exam. After conducting a battery of tests, the doctor told her she was pregnant. "I'm a busy senator," Hilary said. "This is the last thing I need." Furious, she called Bill from her cell phone. "How could you get me pregnant? How could you do this? This is all your fault! Bill didn't reply, there was nothing but silence on the other end. "Bill, do you hear me?!" Hilary yelled. Finally, in a barely audible whisper, Bill asked, "Who is this?"

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. A young clerk told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was so insistent that the clerk agreed to ask his manager about the matter. He walked into the back room and said to his manager, "Some jerk out there wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned around and saw the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager said, "I was impressed with you the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on theire feet. Where are you from, son?"
"Minnesota, sir," the clerk replied.
"Well why did you leave Minnesota?" the manager asked.
The clerk said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."
"Really!" exclaimed the manager. "My wife's from Minnesota."
The clerk replied, "No kidding, which team does she play for?"

That's it for the jokes, and to all you virgins, thanks for nothing!

I'd like to apologize to Will Murray and Tim Goddu, you're both decent guys, and we all let our tempers get the best of us sometimes.

I hate it when people fill out a survey and just yell at the questionairre without giving any answers. That's no good for whoever is reading it.

I updated my profile.

I think that's all I gots to say save that I realize the genius of that survey is in splitting it into pieces and using one on each blog post, as opposed to trying to take it all in at once.

Current Mood: Tired. How the hell do you get by on so little sleep, Tones?
Current Music: Jimmy Buffet, Coconut Telegraph.