My Many Crushes
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. I have a very important task for you. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to sit where you are and read this blog entry on my crushes. This entry will self destruct, or rather your PC will explode (if I rigged it right) in 20 minutes, so get to it. I’ve also included my former crushes and some people I’ve seen in a romantic light. I’ve given them code names after the pieces on a chess board, and flung in some other information.
Crush: An infatuation, of love or lust, with someone. It is only a crush so long as it is unrequited. This is usually do to the cowardice of the person who has it.
Former Crushes. (I’ve started with my first year at Catholic, to save my wrist some trouble, and you some time, and worked my way through the years until today, at this very moment):
Name: Sarah Wheeler
Codename: White Pawn
Duration: Oct ‘00 - May ‘01
Description: I don’t really know what I was thinking with this tall, thin glass of crazy.
Highlight: When we spoke while waiting for rides after school one day.
Status: She got kinda wacky, I came to my senses.
Name: Jess Michaud
Codename: White Knight
Duration: Sept ‘00 - ‘May 02
Description: A cute, pretty, sexy girl who’s more with it than people give her credit for. She later got kinda slutty.
Highlight: When she asked me to sign her yearbook in study.
Status: I still think she’s hot, but she’s now with some feminine emo kid.
Name: Jess Geoffroy
Codename: White Pawn II
Duration: Nov ‘02 - Feb ‘04
Description: She’s sexy from a distance, but once you get close, look out! She’s a Bush supporter and a Yankees fan. She’s mean to her little sister, has horrible taste in film, is opinionated, self-deprecating and paradoxically arrogant at the same time. That said, she’s sweet and thoughtful. The crush ended when the relationship began.
Highlight: There wasn’t one with the crush.
Status: We broke up, she dislikes me, we bicker, but I hope she finds happiness; she deserves it.
Name: Rebecca Smith
Codename: White Bishop
Duration: Jul ‘02 - Jan ‘04
Description: We met in the Australia trip, and I had pretty strong feelings for her. We started a relationship soon afterwards. That ended in a month. I think I was genuinely in love with her for a while, but the feelings gradually faded away this year.
Highlight: Her voice. She had a beautiful voice.
Status: Still an amazing person, but I feel only friendly love.
Name: Jackie Rosala
Codename: Black Bishop
Duration: Oct ‘02 - May ‘03
Description: This one was way out of my league, but only because she thought she was. She seemed like a great person, but I heard some stories to the contrary from some very reliable sources, and gave that up.
Highlight: When she went down on me in Physics . . . (Okay, that never happened, but if it did . . .).
Status: It’s probably the most “ended” of my crushes.
Name: Laura McDowell
Codename: White Pawn III
Duration: Oct ‘02 - May ‘03
Description: Think about the description for Jackie, then pump it full of speed. The stories I heard about her were even worse. She could sing, though.
Highlight: Looking at her feet or thong in Physics.
Status: I’ll miss those thongs . . . .
Name: Sarah Howe
Codename: White Knight II
Duration: Mar ‘03 - Jun ‘03
Description: The girl Connor was crazy enough to break up with Evelyn for. It was a crew thing. She was the cocksen (you read that right), I liked being told what to do. She’s pretty and sweet.
Highlight: Either rowing stern seat and looking at her toes, or taking out the two with her and letting her order me around.
Status: She’s still cool, in fact I had a nice conversation with her today, but I’ve moved on.
Name: Jason Frank
Codename: Black Knight
Duration: Mar ‘03 - Feb ‘04
Description: Hey, you knew this was coming. He’s hot, I’m bi, put two and two together, people. He’s the feminine emo kid Jess is with.
Highlight: When he spanked me with his Clearing script at rehearsal.
Status: He’s been distant lately. Maybe he didn’t get the fruit basket I sent him . . . plus, he can be an arrogant jerk.
Name: Meghan Hart
Codename: White Pawn IV
Duration: Sept ‘03 - Dec ‘04
Description: I dunno. She seemed alright. Then I realized she wasn’t the brightest bulb and she could be a really mean person, so I turned from love to revulsion to m’eh.
Highlight: When Andy and Dan ripped her socks off at the retreat.
Status: M’eh
Name: Laura Jedredewski
Codename: White Pawn IV
Duration: Sept ‘03 - Jan ‘04
Description: Think Meg’s description, but replace “really mean person” with fairly bland person.
Highlight: The note at the retreat.
Status: M’eh.
Name: Whitney Foster
Codename: White Bishop II
Duration: Sept '03 - May '04
Description: A hot and humor-appreciative Californian fetish queen. We've seen pictures, but have maintained a strictly online relationship.
Highlight: Many late night convos.
Status: I was an idiot, she realized it, and I gave up hope.
That’s it for former crushes, now on to people I’ve had brief (sometimes momentary, sometimes week long) mini-crushes on.
Brendan Smith, I can see what Meg see’s in ya, ya musically talented Teddy Bear.
Tony Celi, I can’t understand why you don’t think you’re quite the catch.
Steve’s girlfriend, Katheryn
Dan McLaughlin, I’ll leave it at that.
Lisa Reist, oddly attractive.
Ponder Gellar, Katelyn Homeyer, and Lauren . . . what’s her name? From the Aussie trip.
EJ Massa, hey there . . .
Sarah Hanners, West Side Beauty.
Wilmina Lanford, if she had a codename it’d be Black Queen.
Sarah Walker, she seemed cool.
Jess Tallman, remember her?
Michelle Supernaut, don’t say anything Tony or Brendan.
Nicole Warren, I was drunk . . . and hungry.
Sarah Cantler and Steph Lepine, crew team hotties.
Jess Guenette, less a romantic light, as “Well, if I had two condoms . . .”
And now, the real McCoys, these I listed in order of how strong my feelings are for them. (Instead of “Status” I have “Why It Might Work” and Why It Won't.”):
Name: Ashley Lapointe
Codename: White Rook
Duration: Sept ‘04 - still on
Description: Pretty, seems to be sexually adventurous, or at least knowledgeable, smart, and cynical. I’ve realized she might be what I’m looking for, but this year the feelings really started.
Highlight: When she prodded me with her foot at the retreat.
Why it might work: I’ve gained in popularity I think, and people realize I’m fun, funny, and okay. She knows I’m perverted.
Why it won’t work: She has a boyfriend and does not respect me.
Name: Meghan Lynch
Codename: Black Knight II
Duration: Nov ‘02 - the present
Description: Gorgeous. Happy, compassionate, sweet as yam an’ marshmallow pie with sugah, honey chile, as my non-existent Southern aunt always says. Strong and tough, yet vulnerable. Sweetly sarcastic sense of humor.
Highlight: I think when she joking threatened to kick my ass.
Why it might work: uh . . .
Why it won’t work: Not enough space to write the reasons.
Name: Mike Pytka
Codename: Black Bishop
Duration: Mar ‘04 - ahora
Description: Without a doubt, the hottest gay guy in our school. One of the hottest guys, period. He seems like he’d be fun to be with, and is the first guy I’ve ever seriously considered asking out. He has a great voice, too. Granted, he’s trying to hard to be gay, but he’s cute.
Highlight: Our semi-flirtatious banter.
Why it might work: He has said I was cute to other people, and he’s gay, I’m bi . . . . That’s just crazy enough to-----
Why it won’t work: He has a boyfriend and I think I may have gone too far with the “hole-y” comment.
Name: Marissa Lapointe
Codename: Black Rook
Duration: Apr ‘04 - this minute
Description: This tremendous brunette is almost my perfect woman, going by the description in an earlier entry. She’s genuinely pretty, smart, sweet, and funny. I can’t say how she is fetish-wise, but I bet she’d make a stunning dominatrix. She loves What About Bob?! And she has nice toes.
Highlight: I just like it whenever she calls me by my name.
Why it might work: She’s unattached, impressed by my humor, and would be by my intelligence and physical prowess, and we have the same friends.
Why it won’t work: Apparently she’s not into dating.
Name: Caitlin Szewczyk
Codename: Black Queen
Duration: since I met her until forever.
Description: Quirky, beautiful, sweet and sexy Cait. As perfect and vulnerable and soft as a rose petal.
Highlight: That slap in the face was nice . . . but I’ll go with the bike ride.
Why it might work: She likes me as a friend, and I’m not evil.
Why it won’t work: She and Andrew love each other, and I love the two of them too much to jeopardize that.
And lastly, my ultimate crush:
Name: Evelyn Powell (who didn’t see that one coming?)
Codename: White Queen
Duration: Dec ‘02 - this moment and always
Description: She may come even closer than Marissa on my Perfect Woman Guide. She’s smart, beautiful, graceful, competent and strong. She has a dry, sarcastic wit and a compassionate heart. She is capable of leading the NHS with confidence, yet is still able to cry. I wish I meant more to her.
Why it might work: She’s single, she realizes I’m not a complete jerk.
Why it won’t work: She may not like me enough, or want a relationship, but I don’t care, I’m gonna go for it!
Well, that’s it. I probably screwed multiple things up irrevocably by publishling this, but I have ceased to care, tomorrow’s my last day at Catholic.
Current Mood: Sad, nervous, tired.
Current Music: My thumping heartbeat.
Crush: An infatuation, of love or lust, with someone. It is only a crush so long as it is unrequited. This is usually do to the cowardice of the person who has it.
Former Crushes. (I’ve started with my first year at Catholic, to save my wrist some trouble, and you some time, and worked my way through the years until today, at this very moment):
Name: Sarah Wheeler
Codename: White Pawn
Duration: Oct ‘00 - May ‘01
Description: I don’t really know what I was thinking with this tall, thin glass of crazy.
Highlight: When we spoke while waiting for rides after school one day.
Status: She got kinda wacky, I came to my senses.
Name: Jess Michaud
Codename: White Knight
Duration: Sept ‘00 - ‘May 02
Description: A cute, pretty, sexy girl who’s more with it than people give her credit for. She later got kinda slutty.
Highlight: When she asked me to sign her yearbook in study.
Status: I still think she’s hot, but she’s now with some feminine emo kid.
Name: Jess Geoffroy
Codename: White Pawn II
Duration: Nov ‘02 - Feb ‘04
Description: She’s sexy from a distance, but once you get close, look out! She’s a Bush supporter and a Yankees fan. She’s mean to her little sister, has horrible taste in film, is opinionated, self-deprecating and paradoxically arrogant at the same time. That said, she’s sweet and thoughtful. The crush ended when the relationship began.
Highlight: There wasn’t one with the crush.
Status: We broke up, she dislikes me, we bicker, but I hope she finds happiness; she deserves it.
Name: Rebecca Smith
Codename: White Bishop
Duration: Jul ‘02 - Jan ‘04
Description: We met in the Australia trip, and I had pretty strong feelings for her. We started a relationship soon afterwards. That ended in a month. I think I was genuinely in love with her for a while, but the feelings gradually faded away this year.
Highlight: Her voice. She had a beautiful voice.
Status: Still an amazing person, but I feel only friendly love.
Name: Jackie Rosala
Codename: Black Bishop
Duration: Oct ‘02 - May ‘03
Description: This one was way out of my league, but only because she thought she was. She seemed like a great person, but I heard some stories to the contrary from some very reliable sources, and gave that up.
Highlight: When she went down on me in Physics . . . (Okay, that never happened, but if it did . . .).
Status: It’s probably the most “ended” of my crushes.
Name: Laura McDowell
Codename: White Pawn III
Duration: Oct ‘02 - May ‘03
Description: Think about the description for Jackie, then pump it full of speed. The stories I heard about her were even worse. She could sing, though.
Highlight: Looking at her feet or thong in Physics.
Status: I’ll miss those thongs . . . .
Name: Sarah Howe
Codename: White Knight II
Duration: Mar ‘03 - Jun ‘03
Description: The girl Connor was crazy enough to break up with Evelyn for. It was a crew thing. She was the cocksen (you read that right), I liked being told what to do. She’s pretty and sweet.
Highlight: Either rowing stern seat and looking at her toes, or taking out the two with her and letting her order me around.
Status: She’s still cool, in fact I had a nice conversation with her today, but I’ve moved on.
Name: Jason Frank
Codename: Black Knight
Duration: Mar ‘03 - Feb ‘04
Description: Hey, you knew this was coming. He’s hot, I’m bi, put two and two together, people. He’s the feminine emo kid Jess is with.
Highlight: When he spanked me with his Clearing script at rehearsal.
Status: He’s been distant lately. Maybe he didn’t get the fruit basket I sent him . . . plus, he can be an arrogant jerk.
Name: Meghan Hart
Codename: White Pawn IV
Duration: Sept ‘03 - Dec ‘04
Description: I dunno. She seemed alright. Then I realized she wasn’t the brightest bulb and she could be a really mean person, so I turned from love to revulsion to m’eh.
Highlight: When Andy and Dan ripped her socks off at the retreat.
Status: M’eh
Name: Laura Jedredewski
Codename: White Pawn IV
Duration: Sept ‘03 - Jan ‘04
Description: Think Meg’s description, but replace “really mean person” with fairly bland person.
Highlight: The note at the retreat.
Status: M’eh.
Name: Whitney Foster
Codename: White Bishop II
Duration: Sept '03 - May '04
Description: A hot and humor-appreciative Californian fetish queen. We've seen pictures, but have maintained a strictly online relationship.
Highlight: Many late night convos.
Status: I was an idiot, she realized it, and I gave up hope.
That’s it for former crushes, now on to people I’ve had brief (sometimes momentary, sometimes week long) mini-crushes on.
Brendan Smith, I can see what Meg see’s in ya, ya musically talented Teddy Bear.
Tony Celi, I can’t understand why you don’t think you’re quite the catch.
Steve’s girlfriend, Katheryn
Dan McLaughlin, I’ll leave it at that.
Lisa Reist, oddly attractive.
Ponder Gellar, Katelyn Homeyer, and Lauren . . . what’s her name? From the Aussie trip.
EJ Massa, hey there . . .
Sarah Hanners, West Side Beauty.
Wilmina Lanford, if she had a codename it’d be Black Queen.
Sarah Walker, she seemed cool.
Jess Tallman, remember her?
Michelle Supernaut, don’t say anything Tony or Brendan.
Nicole Warren, I was drunk . . . and hungry.
Sarah Cantler and Steph Lepine, crew team hotties.
Jess Guenette, less a romantic light, as “Well, if I had two condoms . . .”
And now, the real McCoys, these I listed in order of how strong my feelings are for them. (Instead of “Status” I have “Why It Might Work” and Why It Won't.”):
Name: Ashley Lapointe
Codename: White Rook
Duration: Sept ‘04 - still on
Description: Pretty, seems to be sexually adventurous, or at least knowledgeable, smart, and cynical. I’ve realized she might be what I’m looking for, but this year the feelings really started.
Highlight: When she prodded me with her foot at the retreat.
Why it might work: I’ve gained in popularity I think, and people realize I’m fun, funny, and okay. She knows I’m perverted.
Why it won’t work: She has a boyfriend and does not respect me.
Name: Meghan Lynch
Codename: Black Knight II
Duration: Nov ‘02 - the present
Description: Gorgeous. Happy, compassionate, sweet as yam an’ marshmallow pie with sugah, honey chile, as my non-existent Southern aunt always says. Strong and tough, yet vulnerable. Sweetly sarcastic sense of humor.
Highlight: I think when she joking threatened to kick my ass.
Why it might work: uh . . .
Why it won’t work: Not enough space to write the reasons.
Name: Mike Pytka
Codename: Black Bishop
Duration: Mar ‘04 - ahora
Description: Without a doubt, the hottest gay guy in our school. One of the hottest guys, period. He seems like he’d be fun to be with, and is the first guy I’ve ever seriously considered asking out. He has a great voice, too. Granted, he’s trying to hard to be gay, but he’s cute.
Highlight: Our semi-flirtatious banter.
Why it might work: He has said I was cute to other people, and he’s gay, I’m bi . . . . That’s just crazy enough to-----
Why it won’t work: He has a boyfriend and I think I may have gone too far with the “hole-y” comment.
Name: Marissa Lapointe
Codename: Black Rook
Duration: Apr ‘04 - this minute
Description: This tremendous brunette is almost my perfect woman, going by the description in an earlier entry. She’s genuinely pretty, smart, sweet, and funny. I can’t say how she is fetish-wise, but I bet she’d make a stunning dominatrix. She loves What About Bob?! And she has nice toes.
Highlight: I just like it whenever she calls me by my name.
Why it might work: She’s unattached, impressed by my humor, and would be by my intelligence and physical prowess, and we have the same friends.
Why it won’t work: Apparently she’s not into dating.
Name: Caitlin Szewczyk
Codename: Black Queen
Duration: since I met her until forever.
Description: Quirky, beautiful, sweet and sexy Cait. As perfect and vulnerable and soft as a rose petal.
Highlight: That slap in the face was nice . . . but I’ll go with the bike ride.
Why it might work: She likes me as a friend, and I’m not evil.
Why it won’t work: She and Andrew love each other, and I love the two of them too much to jeopardize that.
And lastly, my ultimate crush:
Name: Evelyn Powell (who didn’t see that one coming?)
Codename: White Queen
Duration: Dec ‘02 - this moment and always
Description: She may come even closer than Marissa on my Perfect Woman Guide. She’s smart, beautiful, graceful, competent and strong. She has a dry, sarcastic wit and a compassionate heart. She is capable of leading the NHS with confidence, yet is still able to cry. I wish I meant more to her.
Why it might work: She’s single, she realizes I’m not a complete jerk.
Why it won’t work: She may not like me enough, or want a relationship, but I don’t care, I’m gonna go for it!
Well, that’s it. I probably screwed multiple things up irrevocably by publishling this, but I have ceased to care, tomorrow’s my last day at Catholic.
Current Mood: Sad, nervous, tired.
Current Music: My thumping heartbeat.
1 Comments:
Well, I'm sure someone's feeling vulnerable right now, so I'll make my first statement the one you likely most wanted to hear: I'm not at all freaked out by any of it, even the possibly-joking, possibly-serious statement that you had a crush on me for at least 30 seconds. I believe that everyone questions their sexuality at least once in life, and, sad to say, I've emerged knowing that I'm all for the eternally non-existant ladies. Although, to be honest, I'm quite flatered . . . or at least I was until I saw who I was in competition with, you slut. ;-) Just kidding.
Anyway, as the Christopher Walkin-lite from the old doritto commericials would say, you are bold AND daring. I'd never garner enough courage to post my crushes online . . . some of them never leave my skull, period.
As usual, I must say that you have good taste. Fine people in your current list, may you find what you're looking for.
I will continue to search for the owner of the missing half of my golden amulet.
By
Zoopers, at 10:37 PM
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