The Final Installment.

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?... :

Jack:: The Ripper! Hit the Road, or Of All Trades, Mostly. Also, Jack Lelane, ‘cause he pulled a boat across a harbor with his teeth when he was 70, and Skelington, from the Nightmare Before Christmas, and Black, and a whole buncha other stuff.
Tiffany::
Ben:: Charleton Heston
Maria:: West Side Story, or the uber-smart Zieja
Jennifer:: Murray, Luckaziwitz, the song 27 Jennifers by Mike Doughty
Nicole:: Warren, Benson, my cousin
Amy:: The Pink Power Ranger!
Adam:: Goddu
Richard:: the coolest guy in the known universe
Arnold:: Hey! The Guvenator!
Tom:: Thumb, the Uncle with the Cabin, and Jerry
Melissa:: a girl I knew from the Trip
Charlotte:: Bronte? ‘s Webb?
Harold:: The Prince
John:: my uncle, my uncle, many things, it’s a common name
Joel:: Billy!
Vanessa:: Austin Powers
Michelle:: Supernaut
Kevin:: Bacon
Brent:: is that a name?
Jake:: the Tae Kwon Do master who stole my girlfriend
Billy:: Madison
Sarah:: my cousin, Hanners, and Plain and Tall
Natalie:: uh . . .
Christy:: My cousin
Nick:: uh . . .
Linda:: Fiorentino . . . wrowww!
Taylor:: James?
Jordan:: the River or Michael
Jamie:: Look out, she has a weapon of some sort!
Adrian:: Brody

Have You Ever.... :

Mooned anyone:: Yes, ma’am.
Been on a diet:: Kinda.
Been to a foreign country:: Yuh-huh.
Broken a bone:: Only two.
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling:: I swallow a lot of things *wink* but never those.
Swear at a teacher:: No, close, though.
Got in a fight:: Physical? A couple.Dated a teacher:: Hey there, Mrs. DeStefano . . .
Laughed so hard you peed your pants:: No. Never.
Thought about killing your enemy:: I’ve thought about killing a lot of people.
Gone skinny dipping:: Frequently.
Told a little white lie:: I have never lied.
Told a secret you swore not to tell:: No.
Stolen anything:: I think so . . . *glances at Mona Lisa original*
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid:: That’s a load of assing fuck!
Been on TV:: Yeah, a lot.
Been on the radio:: Yeah, once.
Been in a mosh pit:: No, I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone.
Been to a concert:: Yes and yes.
Dated one of your best friends:: Well, we dated then became best friends, does that count?
Loved someone so much it makes you cry:: I guess I know what you mean . . .
Deceived somebody close to you:: All the bloomin’ time.
Broken the law:: *glances at hookers snorting the coke I’m supposed to be selling* No.
Been to a rodeo:: I wouldn’t want to, but I love two Garth Brooks songs about rodeos.
Been on a talk show:: Not yet.
Been on a game show:: Yes.
Been on an airplane:: Sadly.
Got to ride on a firetruck:: Not intentionally.
Came close to dying:: All the time!
Cheated on a bf/gf:: Didn’t have any good chances to.
Gave someone a piggy back ride:: Hey there, Tones . . .
Terrorized a babysitter:: Sadly yes. I’m sorry.
Made a mud pie:: No.
Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff:: Cliff? No. Skyscraper, yes.
Snuck out of the house at night:: Sneaked? Yeah I done that.
Been so drunk you don't remember:: I can’t remember.
Felt like you didn't belong:: 4th through 8th grade!
Felt like the 3rd wheel:: Hi, Andrew and Caitlin. Hi, Brendan and Meg.
Smoked:: I want to.
Done drugs:: I took speed pills.
Been arrested:: Not yet. I’ve killed all the cops that’ve tried.
Had your tonsils removed:: Kinda.
Gone to camp:: Yep. That was great til the bears came . . . all over my face.
Won a bet:: Yeah.
Written a love letter:: I believe I have.
Gone out of your way to be with the one you love:: Yeah, but she doesn’t know it.
Written a love poem:: Oh, yeah, a few.
Kissed in the rain:: No. Damn.
Slow danced with someone you love:: My cousin . . . .
Participated in an orgy:: I’d really like to.
Faked an orgasm:: That’s how I won the bet.
Stolen a kiss:: Some one stole one from me.Asked a friend for relationship advice:: All the time. Thanks, B.
Had a friend steal your bf/gf:: Yeah. Bastard.
Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love:: Not yet.
Gotten a speeding ticket:: I never speed.
Done jail time:: Nope.
Had to wear a uniform to work:: No.
Won a trophy:: Yes, and medals.
Thrown up in public:: No.
Bowled a perfect game:: No.
Failed/got held back:: I’ve failed quarters.
Got perfect attendance in grade school:: Hell no! I try not to.
Roasted pumpkin seeds:: The fish?
Taken ballet/karate lessons:: Boxing?
Attempted suicide:: I tried to kill myself through dehydration.
Cut yourself:: On purpose? No, that’s what girlfriends are for.

Child Stuff:

Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes::Go Joe!
Did you own Treasure Trolls:: I . . . uh . . . gotta go.
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210:: Not one freaking episode.
Did you play Simon Says:: Yep.
Did you watch Fraggle Rock:: I love that show!
Did you wet the bed:: A lot . . . but that was way back in Freshman year.
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed:: What do you mean, “believe”? There were!
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them:: No.
Were you shy:: I was, still am.
Were you spoiled:: Nope. I had to get up in the morning at 10 o’ clock at night. Half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, and then work 29 hours a day down t’mill. Plus, pay the mill owner for permission to work there. Then when I got home, my dad would kill me and dance on my grave singing, “Hallelujah!”
Were you abused:: Not quite. I’ve had scuffles, though.
Did you go to the circus:: Yeah, I hate actual circuses.
Did you go to the zoo:: The Bronx Zoo.
Were you in a car accident:: Two I think.
Did you build snowmen:: Well, more like mutant killer deranged snow goons, but yeah.
Did you cry when you scraped your knee:: I didn’t have time to!
Were your older cousins mean to you:: Yeah. They wouldn’t let me play with their Ninja Turtles!
Did you think slinkies were cool:: Yes, and I still do.
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer:: Never. But I vowed to slay them.
Were you afraid of the dark:: I still am.
Did you have slumber parties:: A couple.
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag?:: Actually yes. I still do.
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany:: I do now.
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy:: I know they exist!

Randomness:

Do you believe in aliens:: I believe humans are not the only life in the universe.
Name three things that are next to your computer:: Phone, Game Boy, Printer
Do you have any hidden talents:: um, aside from being able to please 5 women simultaneously, no hidden talents anymore.
Do you wish MTV would play music videos:: That, or explode.
If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be:: A feel-good, buddy comedy, romance adventure action flick . . . with robots . . . and Tim Curry.
What would your movie star name be:: Richard Kine
Do you play any sports:: Crew, weight-lifting, boxing
What's the scariest movie you've ever seen:: The Haunting, maybe. Uh . . . the Gate?
What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently:: Theatre: Shrek 2, Rented: From Hell or Escape from L.A.
What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen:: I tend to repress thoughts of dumb movies.
Do you drive:: like the wind!
What is your dream car:: and Audi convertible, or the Gadget mobile.
Do you think your good looking:: Yes I do, kinda. You are too good looking, Jenn.
Do others think you are good looking:: Some do.
Would you ever sky dive:: If I was drunk, an action hero, or head over heels in love. So, yeah, let’s do it right now!
Do you believe in Bigfoot:: Kinda. I believe in The Jersey Devil and Nessey as well.
How many rooms do you have in your house:: 8 rooms, two baths? Then there’s the combat training room, the tactical situation room, and the s&m dungeon. . . I mean . . . I don’t have those.
Are you afraid of roller coasters:: Nope, they're fun
Do you believe in God:: I think I already covered this, but yes. Completely.
Do you believe in Satan:: Yeah. Poor guy.
Do you believe there is a heaven:: I do. And in it, I’m gonna be a superhero!
Do you believe there is a hell:: not an eternal one, but yeah.
Do you own a pooltable:: I had a pool, and now have several tables, does that count.
Do you have a pool:: Not anymore.
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen:: yeah. His name is Miguel.
Do you like chocolate:: Yeah . . . I guess.
Who/what is on your 2004 calendar:: LOTR
How many U.S. states have you been to:: 9. MA, CO, NJ, NY, CT, RI, NH, VT, CA
Ever wished on a shooting star:: no, never seen one.
Best Halloween costume you ever wore:: werewolf, with a wig cut up and patched everywhere to make it look like hair bursting out.
Do you carry any weapons on you:: yeah, knives, clubs, pepper spray.
What is your weakness:: Uh . . . my laziness and procrastinatory tendencies.
Name something you can't get enough of:: Books and good TVDescribe yourself in 3 adjectives:: Funny, Open-minded, Smart and strong . . . wait, that’s four. I’ll have to make up a new one that’s a combination of two . . . Funny, Open-minded, Plutoneous. (It means smart and strong.)
How many kids do you want to have:: 3 or 4
Future daughters names:: Mary, Elizabeth, Janine
Future sons names:: Paul, Matthew, Peter
What is your ideal way to die:: I think stabbed in a knife fight, and then I grab the guy who stabbed me and say something cool like, “You won’t live to regret that!” amd throw him off the skyscraper we’re fighting on, and then slowly die as my girlfriend/buddy, comforts me.
How do you release stress:: sleep, lift weights, run, cry, punch microwaves and doors.
Do you consider yourself a trendy person:: No, not at all.
Are you an artisitic person:: yeah, in a few ways.
Are you a realistic person?:: sometimes overly so, sometimes slightly not.
Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off:: No, I rarely un-tie, I live too fast paced a life.
Are you a strong person:: I bench 300 lbs, and have weathered my parent’s divorce and the deaths of loved ones fairly well, what do you think?
Are you a strong willed person:: Depends. I can work roofing all day long, or have the will power to stay up all night working on a script, or willing myself to get on stage and perform stand-up that I wrote that day in front of my peers . . . but the research paper thing’s still goin’ not too great . . .
Who is the last person to e-mail you:: AOL Member Services
Who is the last person to IM you:: Dan McL
Do you hate chain e-mails:: Yeah, because they’re the reason I only have one eye. I know what you’re gonna say . . . it’s glass.
Are you a deep sleeper:: Yeah . . . too deep.
Are you a good story teller:: If I worked at. I’m a better story writer.
What do you believe is your best quality:: My sense of humour
What is your greatest accomplishment:: Jenn had the best answer to this one, so I’ll repeat it: Fucking you. But in reality, my stand-up performances, what I’ve done for HCHS, and making the friends I have.
Do you like to burn candles or incense:: Well, you can’t burn yourself with hot wax from incense . . . so figure it out.
Do you have your own credit card:: Yeah, sadly.
Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all the money?:: Houses, cars, books, suits, presents for my friends, and if I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love. Then I’d try to save HCHS.
Do you have a check book:: No
Do you like your drivers licence:: Yeah.
Do you tan easily:: I burn more easily.
What color is your hair naturally:: sandy blonde/ golden brown
How many fillings do you have:: none.
How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit:: None
Worst feeling in the world?:: Hopeless, frustrated, powerless, the knowledge that you’ve wasted your time or money, the feeling you get when you’re romantically close to someone you don’t love.
Best feeling in the world:: After stand-up is nice, or when people appreciate my hard work and talent.Is the glass half empty or half full:: Whichever you choose, drink it all down and I hope you enjoyed every sip.
Last thing you downloaded:: something from Homestarunner.com
Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life?:: Only when pointing out how stupid they are.
What do you think people think of you:: I think you’re hot, Jenn Murray. Hot and cool and funny and kind. So THERE! About me? Funny, socially awkward, smart, physically strong, lazy
Are you a likeable person:: Yes. I’m decent to everyone even if they’re bastards. However, if someone becomes an excessive bastard, I get unlikeable really quick.
Do you need therapy:: Physical? I could use some yoga or acupuncture. Mental? Maybe, but I don’t like psychiatrists. Spiritual? Probably. I’ve gotten lax in my faith lately. Sexual? Yes please. Hey, Caitlin.
Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance:: Maybe I do. Maybe you do. Shut up! Shut up! The trees sing to me in laughter! Spiders . . . spiders! I like the flying pillars and I could go for a twice time puppy. Where were we?
Do you love your bf/gf:: I love people who I wish were my girlfriend. I think. Hey Evelyn . . .
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FedUp?:: If Pro is the opposite of Con, is Progress the opposite of Congress?
When are you moving:: I’m headin’ away in August.
What's your favorite phrase:: Right now? “Zing!” after an insult. “Your face!” at any time. “Sweet Sally McKenzie!” “Duly noted.” and of course, “Slap me around and call me a naughty girl.”