The Way of Rich.

Hey, guess what? Another post, that’s what! That’s right, I’ve updated again. I should really do this more often. According to my blog calculations, my publishing rate is a scant four posts a week, since I started in late May. That’s an outrage. From now on, a post every two days! Wait, that’d be the same rate, wouldn’t it? Damn. Okay, a post every day starting today! That’s good, ‘cause I got lots to talk about. Namely my allergies. They’re pretty bothersome.

I thought that, aside from my usual intriguing, if random and useless, observations, I’d make the focus of this blog post my spirituality. Influenced, I suppose, by both Tony’s recent sometimes funny, mostly offensive take on Mass, and a desire to show my readers, especially the lady-types, that there’s more to me than bulging muscles and curly golden locks. So, this entry will be all about the more supernatural contemplative side of The Rich. First off, though, how about an update?

I updated my blog profile, but like a jerk it won't let me put my "over-150-characters-long" answer down. So . . .

Here's the question from my profile:

Well, maybe they don't need them, but don't you think that some fish might like a bicycle?

Here's my answer:

Sure. I imagine that, though they can't ride them underwater, or on land without dying, and aren't physically capable of pedalling anyway, that fish would like them to have as decorations in their natural homes . . . underwater castles.

But check out my profile anyway, to see the answer I put down there.

Time, it seems, does heal wounds. Many of the bad feelings from the subjects of the last post are fading. Work is better. My boss is really cool, my pay is great, and it does toughen me up some. I feel less guilty about the Jess thing, but I do need to talk with her. Which I plan to do soon. I’d talk to her at her birthday party, but oddly enough I wasn’t invited. Hmm . . . I suppose my invitation must have been . . . lost in the mail.
Without revealing too much, let me just say that Evelyn now knows how I feel about her. It turns out I was not the one to tell her. I owe that to my good buddy Brendan. I feel better now that she knows and I believe it will be easier to talk with her . . . if I can manage to get a hold of her. There is almost absolutely now shred of hope that anything but awkwardness will come from my profession of feelings, but that’s okay. The past two weeks have taught me that being single is actually pretty good. I have decided I don’t want a girlfriend anymore. (There are 5 exceptions to this. I think you know who you are).

I am a bibliophile through and through. I finally got around to organizing those books I mentioned like 3 weeks ago, and let me say a few things about that. First, my dad has some pretty cool books. I found a 1911 copy of Treasure Island in good condition, Hudson’s Complete Shakespeare from 1871, and the complete works of Charley Dickens from 1860! Also, some books by Freud, Aristotle and Plato, and old copy of Les Miserbales by Hugo, and an old Catholic school text book that was my grandfather’s. It’s probably from when he was going to St. Joseph’s, one of the schools that became HCHS, and he wrote his name in it. It’s pretty nifty to see that, partly because we have the same name. The organizing process made me realize that there are a lot of books out there that I have yet to read, and so this summer I’ll hopefully get around to it.

Speaking of books, I finished The Hobbit. That was a great story. I wish all of Tolkien’s writing was like that. Towards the end his work started reading like the Bible. It’s really, really dry. But he wrote for a noble reason. He wanted to give England its own mythology. King Arthur is heavily French-influenced, and the Celtic stuff was lost after the Norman Conquest. Reading his uber-boring, but admirable Unfinished Tales gave me an idea for a story I'd like to write. Any Tolkien fans will appreciate this. Okay, you know there are wizards in Middle Earth. They are called the Istari, and are actually emissaries from the Divine Powers, the Lords of the West, the Valar. They were not Men, nor were they Elves, but spiritual beings who took men's bodies. Now, their mission was to combat the growing menace of Sauron. He had destroyed the island of Numenor and was banished, cursed, to Middle Earth. Well, there were five of these fellers, the Istari. You know, I think, of two; Gandalf the Grey and Saruman the White. Also mentioned in LOTR is Gandalf's cousin, Radagast the Brown, who loved the birds and beasts and plants of Middle earth, and alone stayed true to his mission. There were two others, clad in blue. Of these Tolkien claims to know little. No names are given them save Ithryn Luin, "The Blue Wizards." Well, these two travelled with Saruaman as missionaries to enemy territories in the East. Unlike Saruman, they never returned. No one knows what became of them. This is where my story kicks in. What if they were close, like brothers, and started on the same side. But one of them was ensnared be the power of Sauron, (as is mentioned as a possibilty), and ended up fighting the other. There could have been a great battle in the East between the forces of the two wizards, and because of that both are slain, but Sauron's troops are diminished and this aids in the victory against him seen in LOTR. Mentioned as well are rumors that these two started cults of magic that lived on long after Sauron. That'd be cool, too I think, to fiddle with that idea. And lastly, the character whose scenes were cut in Return of the King, but who is cool and scary as hell, The Mouth of Sauron, is said to be from the East. What if he's one of the wizards? Nifty, huh? Maybe not, but I think it's a fun concept.
I also finished The Pale Horse, by Agatha Christie. The only thing I had read by her before this was And Then There Were None, freshman year. I had always thought her to be somewhat overrated, but let me tell you, she’s great! She has humour like P.G. Wodehouse, but adventure and romance and a truly good mystery in her work as well. I urge you all to read it.

Music? I need to improve my library, but Ben Arthur is what I’ve been listening to lately. His sexually-themed fast-paced pop really gets me pumped when lifting weights. The song Mercy I like especially, because if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was about a weird S&M relationship. Let me show you:

“It started as a lark,
Twistings in the dark..
Tied up and what to do,
Naked and black and blue.
This here is the bad part:
I think I need a new start.
Oh God I think it’s true,
I think I need this . . . too.

And I cry,
Mercy, mercy!
You’re only happy when I’m on my knees!
I cry,
Mercy, mercy!
You’re only happy when I’m on my knees.”

Nonetheless, it’s still a good song.

Speaking of lifting weights, I’ve had the best, most draining work outs I’ve ever had these past two nights. After the first one, I felt crazy. Ready to take on anything or anyone. I really wanted to hit something. It was quite a rush. After today’s work out, I felt so spent that I just wanted to sleep. Then, about a hour later, I just wanted to hug everything. I felt complete peace. It was awesome.

Movies. Movies. I like ‘em. I just saw three good ones. The first, Nurse Betty, a wacky comedy about a women obsessed with a soap opera and the hitman obsessed with her. Then there was The Rock. I love this movie. Let me explain why, if I can. It’s a good action movie, that alone is worthy of praise, as so many films in the genre are lousy. It has some hilarious parts, some touching parts, and some unbelievable parts, but it’s all good. The line between bad an good is hazy. The “bad guys” are Marines trying to get proper compensation for their fallen comrades, the “good guys” are an annoying FBI lab technician and a 60 year old convict. Ed Harris is impressive and perfect as ever, Nicolas Coppola . . . I mean Cage . . . is properly cast and conveys the right amount of bumbling whininess and heroic coolness to make you like him, and Sean Connery is one of the best badasses in movie history (there’s one scene where he’s fighting this Marine who’s about twice his size, and losing, but he’s too tough to quit. At the last minute he dodges a punch and the Marine breaks his hand on a pipe. Connery then flips him over, wraps a chain around his neck, and pushes the stone that the chain is attached to down a cistern. You think he’s gonna quip or say something, but he just scowls at the guy and walks off, leaving him to be strangled to death. So cool.), but he has a good heart. His part is the funniest, because he’s playing pretty much who James Bond would be if he had actually aged. The plot is better than most action films, and it’s by Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer, so you know it’s exciting. Good, good movie. Lastly, I saw Dark Blue, a movie about corruption in the LAPD before the LA riots and the coming apart of a man beset by his own demons. It stars two of my favorite actors, Kurt Russell and Brendan Gleeson. Gleeson is a master of his craft and a delight to watch, but Russell, in a career-topping performance as the tragic hero is tremendous. I recommend you guys see it.

Where in the World is Sammy Cordova? Right now, New York. That’s right, my brother has hit the Big Apple in all his pipe wielding, foul-mouthed glory. As I type this he’s probably being shot at, evading local gang members and the cops, while stealing the hearts and purses of many a beautiful lady. Or, he’s bringing swift vigilante justice to a depraved city as . . . BATMAN! Whatever his current exploits, good luck, Samster, be home soon.

Now, without onto further ado, The Church of Rich and the Latter Day Saints:

I don’t really know where to start in my explanation of my spiritual beliefs. Let me begin by saying that I’m to try to avoid writing “I believe this,” or “I don’t believe that.” You must realize that anything involving faith isn’t definite, it’s all belief. So I’ll just write, “It’s like this,” or “It’s not like that.” Very definite, like it was in my Holy Book . . . if I had one. I’m not saying that what I type here is right, I’m just saying it makes sense to me after many years of contemplation.

Okay . . . God is imperfect. That goes against a whole lot of Christian doctrine, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Otherwise, God would know everything that was going to happen, would have planned it that way, and then nothing matters. It also explains the existence of evil. I like the idea of God a more than one identity. That’s because the thought of God as The Force behind Nature makes sense, the thought of God as a force that works with and through people makes sense, and the thought of an intimate, caring, loving God is comforting. I believe in Jesus Christ, that He is both human and divine, and died so we may have eternal life. Now, was he the only incarnation of God? I don’t know . . . . I want to say that Muhammad, the Buddha, Krishna, Abdul Ba’Hai, and many others were divine as well, but I don’t want to sell the human race short. Hell is only temporary, and everyone, EVERYONE will eventually be with God in Heaven. That includes Lucifer and the Fallen Angels. Angels are an odd concept. I think I’ll have to ponder them some more. But I do believe in the Devil. I do not believe that he is completely evil, and, as God is All-Loving and All-Merciful, they will eventually reconcile. God can feel pain, emotional, at least. And She is badly hurt by sin and hate. I think God would rather humans live peacefully and not believe in Her than believe in Her but have wars and conflicts. I hate the notion that God wants us to pray for God’s sake. Prayer, whether it works or not (and I doubt its effects in most circumstances) is to keep us on track, to help give our lives hope and direction. To say differently would be to say that God depends on us, and that ain’t true. I dunno. Maybe it is. That would make creation seem a little more logical. Lets forget that for a while. Uh . . . how about the Church? Let’s talk about it. Too much ceremony, too much symbolism and pomp. That’s not what it’s all about. What’s the major problem with the Church? It’s governed by people. This leads me to another belief of mine: Humans are by nature evil. Their tendency for it when left to themselves is too strong. While we as a race, or species, or whatever category you wish to use, are capable of incredible greatness, but are hindered by human nature, which isn’t bad or good, it’s both, and usually in a grey area between. I won’t get into miracles. I don’t know what to say about magic and witchcraft. I could go either way. I like to think there are other forces out there, but there very well may not be. There is something, there, though. Whether through drugs or the power of suggestion, or just the way of life, there’s power to primitive traditions. I don’t believe in the idea of the no-self, but I do believe in reincarnation, and that all reality is connected by some underlying force. Okay, who know what? I can see this will require some more thought. I have a new plan. I will take my world religions book, and explain how my beliefs differ or correspond with those of each religion, one by one. So, aside from Rich’s Joke Corner, there’ll be a new segment: The Way of Rich. “For I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life,” sayeth Rich, “Those who believe in me will laugh a lot.” (Was that over the top?)

Okay then. Oh, speak of the Devil, look what it is!

Rich’s Joke Corner:

Three marines were driving up the highway between Barsa and Baghdad when they came upon an Iraqi insurgent who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road lay a badly injured American soldier who was semiconscious. As the Marines were giving both men first aid, they asked what had happened. The American explained,
“I was moving north along the highway when I ran into this guy. We pointed our guns at eacxh other, and I said, ‘Saddam Hussein is an asshole!’ Then he yelled, ‘George Bush is an asshole!’ We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us.”

A couple were having the interior of their house painted. The man came home after work and accidentally leaned against the freshly painted wall. The next morning the wife said to the painters,
“You fellas wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?”
“Look, lady,” one painter said, “We’ve got a long day ahead of us. How about you just make us a cup of coffee?”

In the beginning, Adam asked God for a mate.
“I can you the perfect companion,” the Lord replied, “but it will cost you an arm and a leg.”
“Jeez, that’s a little steep,” said Adam. “What can I get for a rib?”

How did the blonde get cancer?
She snorted artificial sweetener thinking it was diet coke.

One last one, in the tradition of Monty Python and the Holy Grail!:

A king suspected his wife was being unfaithful to him, so he secretly placed a razor blade in her vagina. Three days later, he ordered all of his knights to drop their pants. They all had bandaged penises, except one.
The king said to him, “I always knew that you were my most loyal knight.”
The knight replied, “It wath nothing, Your Magethy.”

Okay, that’s all for tonight, Folks. Sleep well and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Current Mood: I’m a’ight.
Current Music: Loud motorcycles outside my house.