Floods of Water, Creative Drought

As I sit here, clad in only a green towel, dripping with water, my hair a lank, twisted curtain shielding my view of the keyboard, I am in no mood to write this blog. Feeling as sad and dreary as I look, all that’s missing from the scene is the "out-of-luck music," (Wahp Wahp Waaaaah). I’m not the only thing that’s wet. Due to recent water main breakage, my cellar became flooded to Biblical proportions. A restoration team was called in, and they immediately began unfinishing my finished basement. Now the carpets are gone, the furniture moved out, and dehumidifiers running non-stop. It’s reasonably spooky down there with the lights off, like the laboratory of some mad scientist. I have had no desire to actually write this post, although I have had plenty of thoughts to put in it. I am now at the point where I’m updating because it’s been too long since the last entry, not because I want to.

But don’t despair, all is not tears and Grumblecakes. There are silver linings in all dark tunnels, and lights at the end of every cloud, or something of that nature. And the lights and silver linings I’ve experienced over the past few days have been magnificent. So, let’s get straight to the blog, shall we? Before I loose the little motivation I have now.

I know what would make me feel better!

Drugs!
Let’s talk about some I would not do. I would never smoke pot. I can’t stand the smell, I dislike the brain damaging side effects and memory loss, and I’m lazy and giggly enough already. Another drug I’d never do is cocaine. It seems far too harsh and scary. And crack? I would never smoke crack. I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass. (Thank you, Denis Leary.) Crack is way too dangerous. I wanna get high, I never said anything about having my nose bleed, my testicles shrivel up, and heart explode. Heroin is way too extreme as well. I’ve known heroin addicts and it is not a pretty addiction. It’s an amazingly strong addiction as well. Opiates in general I might try. I was given a shot of morphine once . . . uh . . . in ‘Nam. (Not really. When I broke my arm falling down a flight of cement stairs outside the NoHo town hall). And it didn’t do much for me. It did make me lose my equilibrium and my lunch, though. And opium sounds like a lark. Once or twice. I don’t wanna go shoot Texas Rangers or witness the crimes of a deranged British serial killer. (References to Tombstone and From Hell respectively.) I suppose that’ll do for now. On to less illegal ramblings . . .

I went with my perennial good buddy Steve to Northampton (or as I have dubbed it, NoHo . . . I hope that catches on.) on Saturday and was given plenty of material over the course of the night for two entertainment updates.

Music: I bought some CD’s at Turn It Up which have little in common with each other except for one adjective that can rope them all in: cool. The music may not be for all tastes, but the techno-jazz beat/pop infusion of Soul Coughing is undeniably hip. The rocking insanity, upbeat music to violent lyrics, of Warren Zevon is unquestionably and respectably awesome, and the wide-eyed, neon percussion art of The Blue Man Group is publicly accepted as neato to the extreme. Styles, themes, appearances all differ among my chosen CD’s. And they may not be liked by everyone. But everyone must say that the music, be it the head-nodding, smile-broadening rock of Zevon, the grim-mouth smirk strut inducing jazz pop-sicle that is Soul Coughing, or the funk-tacular robot-dancing beats of The Blue Man Group, is cool.
I also picked up some other new stuff. Del Amitri, pop-rock from 1982 Glasgow, Des-ree, empowering black femi-music, and two bands I hadn’t heard of but found while perusing Miscellaneous F (that’d be a cool name for a band). Farmer Not So John, bitter country rock, and Forest For the Trees. This last one . . . uh . . . yeah. See, a while ago I was thinking about what an ethnic orchestra would sound like. By that I mean a group of musicians playing country or region centric instruments, sitars, from India, bag pipes, from Ireland and Scotland, castanets and maraccas from Mexico. I got my answer in this weird techno-Indian spiritual-contemplative/rap/ pop. With bag pipes. It needs to be heard to be believed, especially the track with the babbling brook, the cow bell, and the goat. Yes, a goat is one of their instruments.

And now onto Movies! I recently bought a hefty stack of DVD’s for my now booming collection. Some are popular, like Suicide Kings and The Boondock Saints. Some are liekable or goofy, like the Impostors or Reefer Madness. But some are not appreciated properly by the human collective. I speak mainly of the action-comedy Last Action Hero, starring Arnold Swartzennegger. Let me try to explain the plot for those of you who have never seen nor heard of this masterpiece of American cinema. Teenage film buff, Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien, of My Girl 2 fame) spends more time in a rundown old theatre in New York City than he does in school or at home with his hard working single mom. He does this to escape the depressing reality which surrounds him. Now, the lad’s favorite films are big budget actioners starring Arnold as a "super-cop he-man" named Jack Slater. Well, at the screening for the latest Jack Slater film (Jack Slater IV: They killed his favorite second cousin, big mistake! Blammmmo!) Danny is given a magic ticket by his only friend, the theatre’s eccentric old projectionist, Nick. Nick was given the ticket by Houdini, the night he played at that very same theatre back when it was a vaudeville stage. The ticket allows Danny to travel into the world of his hero, and amongst flying bullets, explosions, and car chases the two become friends and learn to see their respective worlds in a different light. I like this movie. I feel it is very original and well done. And I thought that this is the kind of movie that the HCHSFTCT would make, if it was given proper funding by the cinematic branch of the Umbrella Corporation. It has action, comedy . . . lots of comedy . . . likeable characters, an interesting concept, heartwarming scenes, lots of fire and plenty of lapses in logic, and some of the best and most likeable satire I’ve ever seen. The film is a delicious send up to all big budget action films, and the world of movies in general. I suggest everyone sees it.

However, I doubt whether most will like or appreciate it. For, you see, I’ve come to a conclusion recently. As I sat watching Andrew suffer through two hours of explosions and plot holes with Last Action Hero, and earlier, as he tried to like Soul Coughing, I realized that of all the people I know, I have the most unique tastes. In music, film, and sexual adventures, at least. I know "most unique" sounds funny, but I don’t know how else to say it. I won’t say that my tastes are "better" than anyone else’s, because that’s not true, and more importantly, I’m not that conceited. Nor will I say that my tastes are more inclusive, although that is true. You see, my friends like certain music, film, comedy, things of that nature, and I can appreciate or like almost all of what they do. But when it comes to the things I like, it seems that many of them are enjoyed solely by me. I have what Brendan Smith would jokingly call "horrible taste." I don’t like having such unique likes, it’s actually a bit lonely. But I can’t change what I feel drawn toward.

Another thing I have discussed with Andrew is the concept of entertainment. Andrew has an admirable notion that all entertainment should have an underlying message or point. I see it differently. After 4 irritating years of being told to "read into things" and "take it down a level" (pauses here to throw an explosive dart at a picture of Sr. Marlene) I am tired of trying to find meaning in things. I don’t want to see metaphors and symbols and allusions in everything I read or listen to or see. I don’t want to apply everything to a current understanding. I want something that’s a story for stories’ sake. I want a song with no deeper meaning than a guy admiring a sunset, I want a movie with more fight scenes than religious allusions. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy critical reading, looking deeper into things. I only feel that it’s overdone. I think we need to sit back and admire things for their surface value. Stephen King make a point of this in his book IT, which, ironically enough, has several levels of depth to it. I think I’m done with this rant.

Another good movie I’ve seen recently is the madcap period comedy Oscar. Based on a play by the same name, this film show one hectic day in the life of a ‘30's Chicago gangster, Angelo "Snaps" Provolone as he tries to give up his life of crime and go straight in accordance with his dying father’s wish. Sylvester Stallone makes a good comic debut as the frustrated "Snaps," and gets plenty of help from a great ensemble cast.

This made me think: This movie’d be great for the HCHS Performing Arts Club. It’s based on a play, it has comedy and a wide range of characters, simple sets and I guarantee it would be as fun to watch as it would be to be in.

Another play that might work . . . if someone adapted it for the stage, is the Princess Bride. It doesn’t have as many characters, but it has easier sets and costumes, comedy, romance and plenty of action, and some great lines. It’d be like The Clearing, only happy, and with more sword fighting.

I am currently doing something I don’t ever do: Reading more than one Book at once. I am enjoying the continued adventures of Bertram Wooster and his clever valet, Jeeves in Life With Jeeves, at the same time that I am delving into the mind of an addict in Go Ask Alice. Meanwhile I am struggling through the surreal Graveyard for Lunatics, by Bradbury, and witnessing the deconstruction of the super hero image in The Watchmen, a graphic novel by Alan "From Hell" Moore and Dave Gibbons. I urge all fo you to read all of them. Or, at least, some of you to read some of them . . . .

The Way of Rich: Not much, today, other than the obvious: I don’t like to look into things that much, and I think that training is important. I feel every human being should build his or her tolerances to heat, cold, hunger, thirst, and pain. I try to do this every so often through various methods.

And now for another completely unnecessary continuing segment:

Rich’s Hot Celebrities of the Week:

Marissa Tomei,
Nicole Kidman,
Lucy Liu,
Halle Barre

And now, a conversation with my readers:

Hey guys, how are you doing? Sick? With what? Sounds exotic. Is it contagious? Oh, good. Me? No, I’m good. Except for the bear incident. No. No not really. Well kinda painful. No, to shreds, actually. Yeah, I guess. Well, needless to say that popsicle came in handy. Oh, say. Did you remember to diffuse that bomb I planted? No, not that one, the one in that place. No, it’s not, it’s right near you. Right there. You’re looking at it. You didn’t diffuse it? Uh-oh. In that case, can I have your CD player? Oh, no reason . . .

That was a conversation with my readers.

Blog News:
As you know, my blogs have been getting less and less frequent, and exponentially longer with each post. So, I have come up with a solution. I will try to post daily, or at least every other day, and will lessen the now absurd length of my posts by rotating my returning segements. As of now, the segments are:

Friends
Drugs
Entertainment
-Movies
--Casting Call
-Music
-Books
The Way of Rich
Sexy Celebs
Joke Corner

As of Friday, the new schedule will be:

Day 1: The Way of Rich, Friends
Day 2: Drugs, Entertainment, Joke Corner, Sexy Celebs

This will rotate. So, it’ll be Friday = 1, Sunday = 2, Tuesday = 1, Thursday= 2, Saturday = 1 . . . and so on, and so on.

Each will have it’s own mini update concerning my life and any random thoughts I’ve had. In addition, I will unveil the long-awaited "Loose Ends and Split Ends" weekly blog supplement.

This way, if I ever need to make a quick post out of the schedule, I can do it officially.
I think that’s all for now. Next Time: Friends: Brendan Smith, The Way of Rich: Jainism, and my thoughts on high school, life, and moving on.

Current Mood: Tired, disappointed it’s not a better post. Tired.
Current Music: Soft Serve, by Soul Coughing