All the cool kids have done it . . .
Well, eventually I hope to complete a monsterous entertainment post, with reviews of two new CD's done by a coupla my closest pals coinciding with a new fleet of "Friend"ships. Until then, however, I offer as distraction this nifty online test which has appeared on many of the online journals of people I love and or hate.
I'd say that the results are fairly accurate. Firstly, as many can attest to, I am an especially inept flirter. My strategy is usually blantant sexual advances in the form of humor, and awkward teasing or constant friendly, near brotherly, support. Either that or I make the person hate me, and then gradually grow on them. This method takes about two years and is so far unrewarding. So 23% sounds about right.
Skipping to the end, I reckon this percentage is pretty close, too. As the only thing I have been fully intimate with as of yet is my right hand, I can confidently say that I deserve an 88. If I only had a full body to practice on I imagine I could really work some magic. Any volunteers? Don't all step forward at once, now.
The two middle stats are slightly uncertain. As far as kissing goes, I'd hope I rank in the top 5 percentile, but I've never kissed myself. Can I get any verification of this? Am I that good? Jess? . . . Amy? . . . . . . . . . Dan?
50% in cuddling? Bullshit! I cry bullshit! (Note to Tony here: As you have never actually witnessed the glory that is Commando, you are unworthy of using any and all lines from the film. I will perry your thrust in good time, amigo. 'Til then, only quote from movies you have seen. Seems only right.) Where was I? Oh yeah! 50%!? Aside from a little premature ejaculation I'm a great cuddler. Right? Jess? . . . Amy? . . . Dan?
And the last two facts are about dead on. As a chivalrous gentleman, and natural submissive, I always give more than I recieve. And lack of flexibility leads to complications when trying to inact my numerous, depraved fantasies.
Well, comment on this on if you like, or not, I could care less. There is little to comment on, anyway. Although, one funny fact: If I use my full name (Captain Ricardo "P-Funk" Chavez Sugrue Esquire) I get terrible scores. (A kissing percentage of 6, for example.) Whereas I am much more successful if I go by my stage name (Chard.) I guess people are turned off, and I am burdened by, that much zany pretention.
So anyways . . .
The Stats:
I'd say that the results are fairly accurate. Firstly, as many can attest to, I am an especially inept flirter. My strategy is usually blantant sexual advances in the form of humor, and awkward teasing or constant friendly, near brotherly, support. Either that or I make the person hate me, and then gradually grow on them. This method takes about two years and is so far unrewarding. So 23% sounds about right.
Skipping to the end, I reckon this percentage is pretty close, too. As the only thing I have been fully intimate with as of yet is my right hand, I can confidently say that I deserve an 88. If I only had a full body to practice on I imagine I could really work some magic. Any volunteers? Don't all step forward at once, now.
The two middle stats are slightly uncertain. As far as kissing goes, I'd hope I rank in the top 5 percentile, but I've never kissed myself. Can I get any verification of this? Am I that good? Jess? . . . Amy? . . . . . . . . . Dan?
50% in cuddling? Bullshit! I cry bullshit! (Note to Tony here: As you have never actually witnessed the glory that is Commando, you are unworthy of using any and all lines from the film. I will perry your thrust in good time, amigo. 'Til then, only quote from movies you have seen. Seems only right.) Where was I? Oh yeah! 50%!? Aside from a little premature ejaculation I'm a great cuddler. Right? Jess? . . . Amy? . . . Dan?
And the last two facts are about dead on. As a chivalrous gentleman, and natural submissive, I always give more than I recieve. And lack of flexibility leads to complications when trying to inact my numerous, depraved fantasies.
Well, comment on this on if you like, or not, I could care less. There is little to comment on, anyway. Although, one funny fact: If I use my full name (Captain Ricardo "P-Funk" Chavez Sugrue Esquire) I get terrible scores. (A kissing percentage of 6, for example.) Whereas I am much more successful if I go by my stage name (Chard.) I guess people are turned off, and I am burdened by, that much zany pretention.
So anyways . . .
The Stats:
